Umm sure that's how I feel when I see you
Um sure is what comes to mind when ever I feel you
Umm sure is what i say when they ask if im over my ex but if they ask if you were the best the answer shows in my chest
Umm sure is what I say when you ask me me on a date
Umm sure is what I say when you ask if im running two hours late
Umm sure is somthing I would never say about the love me and HIM had, if the right move was to place it in the past because this present is no present with out you and to compair you to my "um sure" you would knock him and more then a few out
Umm sure is what I say if you ask if I have people behind you waiting to take your spot To you I tell the truth I don't care alot
Umm sure is what I say when you ask if its about you and hell yeah is what I say if he ask if it was about HIM...
(Rough draft... it is 430 in the morning....)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
And i dream
The excuses i give to you i wouldn't expect from others,
the things you do i wouldn't expect from lovers,
the thumb print on a piece of cake everyone passes over i choose
the pile of manure that you whispered in my ear was my favorite dish i believed,
naive is my middle name insecure my first,
you throw boulders at me and i pick them up and make a house,
choosing to set it up next to a flourishing dwelling,
strong un breakable foundation, extravagant windows letting in beams of light,
white pillars holding up the second level, smelling the aroma of love
i stack my rocks, my boulders like an igloo,
bed of hay and lies,
spaces in between my rocks masking as my windows like my smile masking my true reality,
little light little air, the house of love blocking my view of the valley of dreams,
i am sad but i continue to dwell in this home.. i made for my self
gazing threw the cracks of my home, my rock igloo, i start to see a foundation slowly going up on the land next to mine, made up of trust, love, compassion, God, communication, compromise, forgiveness,
and i dream…
the things you do i wouldn't expect from lovers,
the thumb print on a piece of cake everyone passes over i choose
the pile of manure that you whispered in my ear was my favorite dish i believed,
naive is my middle name insecure my first,
you throw boulders at me and i pick them up and make a house,
choosing to set it up next to a flourishing dwelling,
strong un breakable foundation, extravagant windows letting in beams of light,
white pillars holding up the second level, smelling the aroma of love
i stack my rocks, my boulders like an igloo,
bed of hay and lies,
spaces in between my rocks masking as my windows like my smile masking my true reality,
little light little air, the house of love blocking my view of the valley of dreams,
i am sad but i continue to dwell in this home.. i made for my self
gazing threw the cracks of my home, my rock igloo, i start to see a foundation slowly going up on the land next to mine, made up of trust, love, compassion, God, communication, compromise, forgiveness,
and i dream…
AddictioN
love
who new you be so complicated so tricky so... deceitful
but your so alluring that people, women, men, i, would take a
bullet to feel it, to have it back, i'll even take a blank to
play with it for 30 minutes you. are. my love.
something that i long for but as much as i want it i know under it all i'm going
to be hurt. not the hurt like a paper cut or a bee sting but the hurt from loosing your
first puppy,
trying to make kool-aide only to find out you have no sugar and only a cup of water.
the hurt that stays with you during all the triumph in your life the lows the highs and even
when you think its
gone,
finished,
vamoosed,
its still their, waiting for the day you forget to remind
you.
its just that deep and i want more.
who new you be so complicated so tricky so... deceitful
but your so alluring that people, women, men, i, would take a
bullet to feel it, to have it back, i'll even take a blank to
play with it for 30 minutes you. are. my love.
something that i long for but as much as i want it i know under it all i'm going
to be hurt. not the hurt like a paper cut or a bee sting but the hurt from loosing your
first puppy,
trying to make kool-aide only to find out you have no sugar and only a cup of water.
the hurt that stays with you during all the triumph in your life the lows the highs and even
when you think its
gone,
finished,
vamoosed,
its still their, waiting for the day you forget to remind
you.
its just that deep and i want more.
not mine
Umm sure has turned in to the sweet man i always wanted,
The unbiased friend i always needed,
The diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason i never wanted to hear,
But he is not mine,
No matter how may times i wear my best friends bracelet,
Trick everyone into thinking its mine because of my many thank you's to their many more Compliments its not mine,
He's not mine,
Belongs to someone else completely,
But because i feel i deserve to have this feeling,
Have this feeling of content,
After all i been threw i think he is my treat,
My treat but still taken vigorously from another,
Like the lunch from PF Changs in the work refrigerator
I know is not mine looks great and i chow down anyways
I have been cussed out for the last time on the phone and i need something great,
Something that is satisfying to me and damn the others,
Dare you to say something,
No i am not stealing food or fronting nor am i taking this man from another,
I just know he is not mine if you know what i mean,
For me to not let him go is a crock,
A selfish think to do and when he finds his
Sweet woman he always wanted,
The unbiased friend he always needed,
A diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason he never wants to hear,
He will look back on our chapter and think
"I deserve this".
The unbiased friend i always needed,
The diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason i never wanted to hear,
But he is not mine,
No matter how may times i wear my best friends bracelet,
Trick everyone into thinking its mine because of my many thank you's to their many more Compliments its not mine,
He's not mine,
Belongs to someone else completely,
But because i feel i deserve to have this feeling,
Have this feeling of content,
After all i been threw i think he is my treat,
My treat but still taken vigorously from another,
Like the lunch from PF Changs in the work refrigerator
I know is not mine looks great and i chow down anyways
I have been cussed out for the last time on the phone and i need something great,
Something that is satisfying to me and damn the others,
Dare you to say something,
No i am not stealing food or fronting nor am i taking this man from another,
I just know he is not mine if you know what i mean,
For me to not let him go is a crock,
A selfish think to do and when he finds his
Sweet woman he always wanted,
The unbiased friend he always needed,
A diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason he never wants to hear,
He will look back on our chapter and think
"I deserve this".
Monday, November 29, 2010
Writers block...
i love love! i love the thought of being in love the feeling that comes with love telling people im
in love... writing about being in love... but love is an emotion, love is the cover story... so what
is the climax who is the protagonist and the antagonist.. short story, novel, chapter book? love
volume I, II, III, IV? better question.... whats the ending going to be? will my book be elaborate
enough to get the harry potter treatment? or is it going to be one of those boring books that
end up going on sale at books-a-million then sadly end up in a broke down cardboard box on the
corner of a card table during a yard sale.... just thinking about the possible failure makes me
not even want to write the damn thing... every time i try it just ends up being a ruff draft... or a
random brain storm..
i'll just keep kicking around ideas...brainstorming ...until the right story comes along
transforming into the most fantastic novel that fly's off the shelves and eventually being turned
into the blockbuster of are lives....
in love... writing about being in love... but love is an emotion, love is the cover story... so what
is the climax who is the protagonist and the antagonist.. short story, novel, chapter book? love
volume I, II, III, IV? better question.... whats the ending going to be? will my book be elaborate
enough to get the harry potter treatment? or is it going to be one of those boring books that
end up going on sale at books-a-million then sadly end up in a broke down cardboard box on the
corner of a card table during a yard sale.... just thinking about the possible failure makes me
not even want to write the damn thing... every time i try it just ends up being a ruff draft... or a
random brain storm..
i'll just keep kicking around ideas...brainstorming ...until the right story comes along
transforming into the most fantastic novel that fly's off the shelves and eventually being turned
into the blockbuster of are lives....
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Theme song
I hate that i gave you my favorite song, that i attached this song to are relationship and i knew what i was doing when i did it but i did it anyways being the self distructer that i am. i play it over and over again thinking the more i play it the less i think about that thing we had, the things we did, the things i said, and the little bit you said. i am my own prisoner of war, i kind of low key wish someone would just run in my room and unplug this damn surround sound from the wall, or that you would knock on my patio window?? But if i take a deeper look at why i feel like someone is tugging on my heart and playing kick ball in my stomach... is it because i miss you or because i miss the feeling of me and you, the feeling i got from saying i'm in a relationship and i love my man, in that case i can find someone to fill that whole with the quickness... i mean i don't want to be a lire i cant just say i'm in a relationship........ but if its you that i miss, your presence, your touch, your smell, your southern draw, regardless of the way you treated me, to the emptiness i had came so accustomed to at night, no one can replace that... do i want someone to replace that? do i really want you back? no, even though tears are lining up in my eyes to parachute down to the ground and this song gives me chills when i here it i know i'm worth more then what you put me threw so i push on until
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Not one in the same...
People look at me crazy when i say in my marriage i want my sex and love life to be great! sex and love are to different things, you can have a great sex life and a horrible love life. sex is sex no need to explain that... but love! love is so many different things.. love is trust... love is teamwork... love is time... love its strong thick and contagious and courageous, when your around real love you cant help but love it and like the person your next two regardless to what u felt before hand. and love makes the sex......
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