umm sure

Umm sure that's how I feel when I see you
Um sure is what comes to mind when ever I feel you
Umm sure is what i say when they ask if im over my ex but if they ask if you were the best the answer shows in my chest
Umm sure is what I say when you ask me me on a date
Umm sure is what I say when you ask if im running two hours late
Umm sure is somthing I would never say about the love me and HIM had, if the right move was to place it in the past because this present is no present with out you and to compair you to my "um sure" you would knock him and more then a few out
Umm sure is what I say if you ask if I have people behind you waiting to take your spot To you I tell the truth I don't care alot
Umm sure is what I say when you ask if its about you and hell yeah is what I say if he ask if it was about HIM...
(Rough draft... it is 430 in the morning....)

And i dream

The excuses i give to you i wouldn't expect from others,
the things you do i wouldn't expect from lovers,
the thumb print on a piece of cake everyone passes over i choose
the pile of manure that you whispered in my ear was my favorite dish i believed,
naive is my middle name insecure my first,
you throw boulders at me and i pick them up and make a house,
choosing to set it up next to a flourishing dwelling,
strong un breakable foundation, extravagant windows letting in beams of light,
white pillars holding up the second level, smelling the aroma of love
i stack my rocks, my boulders like an igloo,
bed of hay and lies,
spaces in between my rocks masking as my windows like my smile masking my true reality,
little light little air, the house of love blocking my view of the valley of dreams,
i am sad but i continue to dwell in this home.. i made for my self
gazing threw the cracks of my home, my rock igloo, i start to see a foundation slowly going up on the land next to mine, made up of trust, love, compassion, God, communication, compromise, forgiveness,
and i dream…

AddictioN

love
who new you be so complicated so tricky so... deceitful
but your so alluring that people, women, men, i, would take a
bullet to feel it, to have it back, i'll even take a blank to
play with it for 30 minutes you. are. my love.
something that i long for but as much as i want it i know under it all i'm going
to be hurt. not the hurt like a paper cut or a bee sting but the hurt from loosing your
first puppy,
trying to make kool-aide only to find out you have no sugar and only a cup of water.
the hurt that stays with you during all the triumph in your life the lows the highs and even
when you think its
gone,
finished,
vamoosed,
its still their, waiting for the day you forget to remind
you.

its just that deep and i want more.

not mine

Umm sure has turned in to the sweet man i always wanted,
The unbiased friend i always needed,
The diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason i never wanted to hear,
But he is not mine,
No matter how may times i wear my best friends bracelet,
Trick everyone into thinking its mine because of my many thank you's to their many more Compliments its not mine,
He's not mine,
Belongs to someone else completely,
But because i feel i deserve to have this feeling,
Have this feeling of content,
After all i been threw i think he is my treat,
My treat but still taken vigorously from another,
Like the lunch from PF Changs in the work refrigerator
I know is not mine looks great and i chow down anyways
I have been cussed out for the last time on the phone and i need something great,
Something that is satisfying to me and damn the others,
Dare you to say something,
No i am not stealing food or fronting nor am i taking this man from another,
I just know he is not mine if you know what i mean,
For me to not let him go is a crock,
A selfish think to do and when he finds his
Sweet woman he always wanted,
The unbiased friend he always needed,
A diary that never runs out of pages,
And the voice of reason he never wants to hear,
He will look back on our chapter and think
"I deserve this".